I don't know what it is about this time of year, maybe it's the cold weather or the mere eight hours of daylight, the post-Christmas crash, or the kids crazy hockey schedules, but if it wasn't for the Kwik Trip gas station's plethora of grab and go meals and clever ways to dress up fried chicken, my family would probably be living off of a solid rotation of mac n cheese, pizza (frozen or Papa Murphy's because we're fancy like that), tacos, spaghetti, and breakfast for dinner.
Recently my running buddy, (who happens to be a dietician taking the world by storm one hilarious and informative instagram post at a time; check her out for yourself @alexlarsonnutrition), shared a podcast that really helped me put things into perspective. Victoria Garrick, host of Real Pod, interviewed Jennifer Anderson, a registered dietitian and founder of Kids Eat In Color, a community that offers evidence-based help for feeding kids. Something that resonated with me right away was when Anderson explained how important it is to be realistic about what your "capacity" is for feeding your family at any given time. Reflecting on my capacity for feeding my family, or what that could possibly be by the end of the week, and acknowledging the many factors at play (what food we may have in the house, evening schedules, how busy work will be this week, how balanced my kids are emotionally heading into the week, how much patience I have for complaining at the dinner table) was liberating. I used to pack lots of cold lunches pre-pandemic, but then, after a stretch of being in charge of virtual learning, working full time, and delivering three meals plus snacks to my kids for months on end, when we returned to school, this was one thing I let go of. At first there was some complaining, but now my kids take school lunch every day and school breakfast many days. I am free of guilt and have more capacity (and money) for planning dinners and snacks. I have also recently discovered some unintended benefits of school lunches. Apparently my eldest now likes red-bean chili and many different kinds of beans that he used to stick his nose up at. I was having lunch with my second grader at a restaurant recently and he ate the pickle on the side of his plate. Apparently he likes pickles and eats them all the time at school. Who knew? The other night I made orange chicken for the first time at home, because my son mentioned that he loves the school’s orange chicken….Huh…I guess my laziness has unintentionally broadened their horizons! Anderson also reminded me that all food is a source of energy for our bodies. She talked about an 'aha' moment with her son when he asked why his treat was called a Skinny Pop after a soccer game one day. "Why is a food is associated with a size? Is skinny good? Does being skinny make you good and being fat make you bad?" This really hit home for me, probably because I have my own baggage going all the way back to being a kid who would've never been described as skinny. I remember as a 9-year-old thinking that my size was something that made me less worthy of love and affection and admiration from others. Things came full circle as they often do (I've learned this since becoming a parent), and a little over a year ago I wrote in my post Helping Without Hurting about how those ideas and ideals from my childhood were impacting the way I regarded my own child. When I brought my kids in for their well-child visits a few months ago, it felt really good to notice how much healthier my internal dialogue was around the topics of food, nourishment, exercise, and size. This internal shift has re-shaped the way that I feed and talk to my children about food and their bodies. Ellyn Satter's division of responsibility in feeding has been a really helpful tool for me. It helped me learn that my job as a parent is to provide a loving, secure, and healthy environment for my kids by deciding:
More importantly, I learned that it is my kids job to decide whether they are hungry or full, and how much of what I offer them they are going to eat. In the podcast that my friend, Alex, shared with me, Jennifer Anderson explained that ALL food has a name and a connection to our bodies. There are SOME foods that do more things for us than others. I really like how this strategy helps kids make important connections, but it leaves out all the judgment around food. I've always thought that I was doing my kids a favor by telling them that sugar is bad and chocolate is unhealthy. Anderson challenged me to look at how I talk to my kids a bit differently. I guess if my kids were on a desert island where food is scarce, and all they had was a pallet of chocolate bars, I would want them to consider those chocolate bars as a source of energy. And let's be honest, when my capacity for feeding my children is on empty, our household mildly resembles a desert island. When my 4-year-old was an infant it wasn't uncommon to find her foraging around underneath the kitchen island for food scraps. She has evolved so much since then. Now my daughter tends to forage around in her nose for extra bits of nourishment rather than on the floor. Seriously though, Anderson's advice when it comes to food is: describe rather than demonize. Broccoli does a lot for our bodies. It has fiber that helps with digestion, vitamins that our bodies need, it has iron and potassium, and even a little bit of protein that gives us that full feeling. Candy does one thing for our bodies. It is an energy source. I've been trying to use this way of describing food to my kids for awhile now and I will say, it's actually kind of fun! It has also forced me to educate myself and/or have the kids educate themselves a bit on what certain foods do for our bodies. Thank goodness for the GOOGLE machine!
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AuthorMy name is Alissa Anderson. I am the School Psychologist for the Esko Public School District in Esko, MN. I am also a mother of three and was certified as a Love and Logic Parent Educator in 2009. Archives
January 2023
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